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A Purposeful Life

You’ve seen all the stories. Americans in record numbers are lonely, depressed, and anxious. Looking at the state of the world that’s easy to understand, isn’t it?

WaPo’s Dana Milbank reported on a possible solution, backed up by a six-year study at Cornell. Their research indicates that “articulating one’s purpose can have outsize mental and even physical health benefits.”

Meanwhile, a Claremont psychologist is on the same page, suggesting that a focus on self-help isn’t in fact all that helpful. “The real path to happiness,” she said, “is focusing on others, on how you can contribute to others and their well-being.”

Identifying your purpose helps you make those contributions.

Here’s another way to think about this whole Purpose thing.

It’s easy to confuse life purpose with life work. Cindy Dove, at Purposed Lives, says our purpose is much more than what we do for a living.

“Life Purpose,” she says, “is that thing you do naturally and spontaneously, that you’ve been doing all your life. It’s what you bring to the world; your Life Purpose has shown up in your interactions with people over and over since you were young. You’re already an expert in it.”

The big thing, according to Cindy, is identifying that gift you have. “Then you can recognize what it is and be aware of your opportunities to be On Purpose.”

It’s easy to discount your Life Purpose. It’s so much a part of who you are, you might think what you do naturally and spontaneously is no big deal. You might not even notice your Life Purpose in action.

Let me back up to my own Purpose.

My friend Judith talked me into a Life Purpose workshop years ago. I was dubious; it sounded airy-fairy. I had a Life Purpose already—it was to show up at the radio station before the crack of dawn and do the news, wasn’t it?

Well, no, as it turned out. In the Living On Purpose session, I figured out that—like everyone else—I did my job in service of something bigger. And that I’d been doing that bigger thing all along. I just hadn’t paid much attention to it because it was so automatic for me.

One clue was the things people had said to me over and over, the observations they’d made about me. I looked back at the interactions I’d had at different points in my life.

When somebody really wanted to talk with me, what were they looking for? And what did they say about that later?

The whole process was fascinating. If you’re interested in step-by-step details, Cindy is doing similar work with her clients now.

The bottom line for me was this. What I heard all the time from all kinds of people was, “When you said … it changed my life.” Or “… it changed my career” or “my relationship.” The point was, after a conversation with me, they made some kind of change.

I’m a Catalyst.

There are two parts to the way I spark a change. I’m perceptive—I have some insight into their situation or problem or conundrum. And I’m direct—I have the nerve to say it out loud, to their face.

That nervy part is big. Seeing something or understanding it isn’t enough, by itself. Catalyzing only happens when I tell them what I’m thinking.

You might guess, not everyone is interested in being catalyzed. Some, in fact, are quite resistant; they’re happy the way things are. Or maybe they’re not happy, and they’re satisfied with being not-happy. That is a big cue to keep my Purpose to myself.

As Cindy says, people come to each of us for our Purpose. They “tug on our sleeve” to let us know they want the gift we bring to the world. And if they don’t tug, they don’t want it. It’s not smart—or useful—to force it on them.

You might be smiling at my declaration that I’m a Catalyst. You might even be rolling your eyes. I’m proud of it, and I keep an eye out for opportunities to use it.

“The biggest benefit of naming your Life Purpose,” Cindy says, “is that you start recognizing it. You can be intentional about it.”

Getting intentional changes everything. When you know your Life Purpose, you can create opportunities for people to tug on your sleeve, to let you know they need what you do so well.

But … will they pay you for it?

Some of us are doing work that aligns with our Life Purpose. When I’m with a roomful of professionals who need to know how to make their point and make it well … I am being a Catalyst.

My guess is that all those employees who show up in research as disengaged don’t need a new job. They could be more plugged in if they just figured out how their Purpose manifests in the job they have. And it’s very likely that it does.

It’s also possible to be content with work that pays the bills while you use your Life Purpose in some other way, separate from employment. If Nurture is your Life Purpose, rearing children is a perfect way to manifest it in the world.

Whether it’s in a career or somewhere else, when you’re putting your Purpose to work, you can make a difference in the world. And that makes a difference for you.

So, tell me … what difference are you making?