Listen to the audio version of this post here.

From “Bah, Humbug!” to Happy Holidays!

From “Bah, Humbug!” to Happy Holidays!

Finding yourself with too much to do, and not enough hours—or energy—to do it all? You have plenty of company, this time of year.

There’s shopping and baking and planning and cooking and inviting and ordering and traffic and crowds … it goes on and on.

I put myself in this holiday season pickle. I just decided not to spend December as a lonely widow sitting in my house by myself, pining for the past when … well, you get the picture.

​I made some social plans. And then I made some more!

About a Christmas tree, I waffled. It’s a lot of work just for me to look at it, don’t you think? And then … I finally decided I’m in. The young man from Poor Bob’s brought the beautiful balsam to my house and even put it in the stand! And a new friend from the neighborhood came over to help me decorate it; we had a lovely time.

I’m cooking quite a bit. And I’ve always enjoyed preparing meals for people. It’s not all that much fun fixing dinner for one and eating alone in the den while I watch the news. So, I’m excited to serve dinner in the dining room and enjoy the fruits of my culinary labor in good company.

Of course, cooking and baking also means grocery shopping.

There I was, at Whole Foods within minutes of their opening today. That was my plan to avoid the crabby crowd later on. And yes, I’m at that store often enough to marvel that people who are blessed to be able to shop there can be so sour so much of the time.

Maintaining the holiday spirit was on my mind as I went in. I greeted and smiled and managed to finish my list and get out of there with my good mood intact. A wonder, don’t you think?

You’re likely on a similar very busy path, with Christmas and Hanukah straight ahead, and New Year’s a week later. Even people who aren’t that observant get drawn into the celebrations. And the preparations. And sometimes, the discontent about the whole process.

It’s worth remembering we do it all in service of relationship.

And of course, in the end, relationship is about much more than what we serve our guests for dinner, what gift we send to our niece or our brother, and how fast we’re able to get through a day’s worth of errands.

So, in the midst of all the holiday hoopla (and occasional holiday horror) how exactly do we nurture our connections, maybe even make new ones…and create enjoyment for ourselves and those around us?

It’s really all about communication, isn’t it? And this isn’t the time when we want to study deep communication theory. We barely have time keep up with the rest of our to-do list.

So here are three simple communication strategies for surviving the season.

Ground yourself

Whether you’re dealing with a long checkout line at the grocery store or your cousin airing his obnoxious opinions over Christmas dinner, before you say anything get grounded.

You might notice energy beginning to swirl around your head, especially if you’re irritated. Or furious. It’ll help to sense your feet on the floor, your bottom in the chair, the weight of your body right here, right now.

As you do, you’ll become more present. Yes, you’ve heard this from me before. That’s because it’s so damn important.
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Breathe

Running errands, fighting traffic, getting the wrong item delivered and having to deal with a ridiculous return process … a lot of seasonal snafus can make us clench our jaw, grit our teeth, and tighten our whole body.

Breathing fully and deeply is the antidote to all that. Yes, your body’s taking in air automatically. And, it’s fascinating to find out how much more deeply we can breathe … and how much better that feels.

Just try it with me now. You’re already grounded and centered. As you breathe in, let your rib cage expand. Really feel the movement in your back muscles and your abdomen as your lungs fill. And notice the relaxation when you let that breath out all the way.

Now you’re ready for whatever’s coming next.

Listen

The more frantic we are, the stronger the impulse to let them have it, whoever they are. The clerk at the post office, the colleague who needs help again, the good friend who has a bad idea and won’t let it go.

There’s so much activity this time of year. Much of it really is fun and festive and falalalala. And then there are the other parts.

It’s in those other times … when we’re impatient or annoyed or sad that communication becomes even more important.

We might think of communicating as speaking our piece, or even giving them a piece of our mind. And sometimes that’s in order. But first …

Pause for a moment. Ground yourself. Breathe. And listen.

PS …

You won’t see me in your inbox for a couple weeks. Christmas Day and the first day of Hanukah … you’ll have bigger things on your mind than my thoughts about communication. Ditto for New Year’s Day when I hope you’re delighted about the night before and ready for the year to come.

I’ll be back on January 8. And hey, in the meantime, how about if you show up in my inbox and let me know how the holidays are going for you.