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Ever wish you could be a little bit different? Who doesn’t, right?
“If only I had that skill.”
“How come I can’t do that?“
“Too bad I don’t have the innate talent my colleague seems to have for …” well, for whatever they’re especially good at.
A thousand times I’ve looked at someone who is well-organized, focused, and strategic—and fervently wished to be more like them.
Sadly, those just aren’t my gifts.
Except here’s the thing. It’s not really sad at all.
Because there are other gifts I do have. Advantages that come naturally to me, as your advantages come naturally to you.
I’m convinced the Fascination Advantage creator, Sally Hogshead, is right when she says, “Don’t change who you are. Become more of who you are.”
Most of us have faced some pressure to change who we are. Might have started way back when we were kids.
My friend Marti Konstant posted on LinkedIn the other day about the teacher who told her third-grade self in front of the whole class, “Your handwriting is the worst handwriting I have ever seen.” Ooof. Gut-punch.
Psychologists warn about the damage social media are doing to teenagers. That girl who studies Instagram, worrying that she doesn’t measure up? That’s a problem for her—and maybe for the rest of it too.
Here I am, a full-grown adult woman, and I’ve come home from a conference wishing with all my heart that I could do what some other speaker did on that stage.
None of that is useful, is it? Don’t change who you are. Become more of who you are.
It helps to know, when it comes right down to it, who you are and how people see you.
Sometimes, it turns out, they have a clearer picture of us than we do.
The Fascinate® Test is a way to figure out how the world sees you. What are they drawn to? What is it about you that attracts the clients, customers, or employers who are the perfect fit for you? And what tells other people they’d be better served by someone else?
Fascination is a neurological state of intense focus. Naturally, when you fascinate your clients and co-workers, they get—and stay—intensely focused on what you say.
And what’s the point of that? The ability to capture attention and keep it is a more massive competitive advantage than ever, as we’re inundated with emails and texts and alerts all screaming, in their own way, “Hey! Look over here.”
Powerful human communication doesn’t just get attention.
Powerful human communication actively changes opinions and behavior.
It’s easy to get hung up on that notion of drawing in some people and at the same time, letting others know you might not be the best fit for them.
If you’re anything like me, your reaction is something along the lines of, “Wait! I don’t want to turn off anyone. I want them all to want me.”
It’s just not realistic. And professionals who try to appeal to everyone wind up watered down, grayed out, so flat they don’t really appeal to anyone.
Here’s an example.
My Fascination Advantages are Innovation and Power.
You hear me speak the language of confidence all the time, don’t you? The Power Advantage means I’m at ease in leadership positions, decisive, and self-assured.
Put those two together and I have what we call an Anthem—you can think of that as a tagline for your personality. A brief phrase, a couple of words, maybe three, that communicate quickly how you add value.
My Anthem is Irreverent Impact. As a speaker and as a coach I make an impact, often with a twist, a bit of humor, a wry approach you wouldn’t be likely to get from someone else.
Early on, one of my fellow Fascinate® coaches told me it wasn’t smart to have come up with Irreverent Impact as my Anthem. “People don’t want a coach to be irreverent,” she said with conviction.
It’s true. Some people definitely do not want an irreverent coach. Who are those people? Not my clients!
They’re fine, earnest people. Some of them are brilliant at their work. Many are my friends. And, they’re better served by a speaking coach with a more traditional approach and attitude.
I don’t need to change who I am. I need to become more of who I am. Irreverence, and all.
You need to do the same.
No matter what business you’re in, there are thousands of others who do what you do. They’re not you, though. And when you become more of who you are, you stand out from all that competition. You magnetize the people who are perfect for you.
To discover your own Fascination Advantages, I’d encourage you to take the test. It’s surprisingly short, stunningly accurate, and even a bit of fun. You’ll find it here: http://www.howtofascinate.com/
And if you’d like to explore your Advantages further, we’ll go over the results of your Fascinate® Test together. You’ll get a clear picture of your Archetype, the activities that energize you and those that drain you. And the pitfalls of doubling down on one advantage. (In my case, that might mean Innovation gone wild—it’s not a pretty picture.)
Yes, I should have a landing page where you could register for that kind of coaching with a Fascinate Certified Advisor (me).
And, you know what we said about being “well-organized, focused, and strategic.” So, if it would be valuable to you to know how people see you, how you make the biggest contribution to an organization, how you can show up and shine every time, shoot me an email, and let’s schedule a conversation.
Before long you’ll be more influential. More at home in your own skin. And more successful.