Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that loneliness is dangerous

Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that loneliness is dangerous

Loneliness is dangerous. Maybe you’ve made the same mistake. Dr. Vivek Murthy had been the U.S. Surgeon General during the Obama and Trump administrations. When his tenure ended in 2017, he found himself in a pickle. Dr. Murthy had been working long hours, spending most of his time with government colleagues, neglecting other friends and even family. When his gig caved in, those work connections ended right along with it. The newly unemployed Dr. Murthy found himself alone. And lonely. He blamed himself for having failed to nurture friendships in favor of focusing on his work and professional relationships.

Set the Stage for a Little Laughter

Set the Stage for a Little Laughter

Set the stage for a little laughter. There’s a reason radio stations still tout their “morning man.” The main players in morning drive radio are, in fact, still men. There’s a reason for that too. Everybody knows women are not funny. I’m not kidding. The broadcasting bigwigs will tell you that, to your face. And they’ll use it as an excuse to hire women for the later time slots with smaller audiences, or for morning sidekick roles doing the news or the traffic. This assumption that humor is exclusively a male purview has implications way beyond broadcasting though. It influences how women are perceived when we’re speaking at conferences, board meetings, and even on webinars. Here’s what turned up in research for a piece in Harvard Business Review:

Sitting and Speaking

Sitting and Speaking

Sitting and speaking. You know those high-top tables you see in hip restaurants and bars? The chairs that go with them are a problem for a person who wants to stay grounded. Especially when we need to speak while perched on one of them. The high chairs seem to be typical for panel programs. And in a way they make sense—that extra bit of elevation makes it easier for everyone in the room to see the people speaking. The downside, as I discovered while participating in one panel recently and facilitating another one, is having our feet floating off the floor. I found myself violating my own advice to those who need to speak while seated.

Fear of speaking: Exhibit A

Fear of speaking: Exhibit A

You and I were focused on the fear of speaking just recently. Why so many of us dread delivering a talk or a toast, and what we can do to feel more comfortable standing up in front of a group and sharing our thoughts. This week’s New York Times profile of their city’s new fire commissioner gave me a wry chuckle. The knives are out for this woman in a big way. Laura Kavanagh is wrestling with an entrenched (and overwhelmingly male) hierarchy. Grappling with resistance to her decisions, to her resume, and, it seems, to her, herself. The guys need to adjust to how she “looks and seems” is the way Kavanagh puts it.

“This is America. Speak English”??

“This is America. Speak English”??

What goes through your mind when you hear someone talk and you notice they’re not a native speaker of English? Curiosity? Suspicion? Apprehension? Do your barriers go up? Or do you lean in to learn more? Amherst professor Ilan Stavans argues that in the same way immigrants expand our cuisine and our art, they also expand our language. American English is loaded with words that came to us from other places. In his upcoming book, The People’s Tongue: Americans and the English Language, Stavans describes our vocabulary as incredibly elastic, with new words being added all the time. And he encourages newcomers not to give up their accents. I’ve been listening to lots of accents lately.

Younger, Older, Where Do You Fit?

Younger, Older, Where Do You Fit?

How old do you feel? Notice I’m not asking how old you are. That’s none of my business, and besides, the response to my actual question is less automatic. And more interesting. It turns out that for most of us, the answer to “How old do you feel?” does not match what it says on our driver’s license. Nearly a quarter of the people serving in Congress are over 70. And most don’t seem ready to exit the stage. Ego, vanity, power, all of that. And I’d guess they stick around partly because they just don’t feel over 70.
The issue is our “subjective age.” If I ask how old you are in your head, what comes to your mind? That’ll give you an idea of your subjective age. It’s not just about how you feel physically, but how you perceive yourself. And the chances are good, the number that comes up does not reflect reality. The Atlantic writer Jennifer Senior cites research showing adults over 40 perceive themselves to be, on average, about 20 percent younger than their actual age.

You’re Not Afraid of it, Are You?

You’re Not Afraid of it, Are You?

The fear of public speaking: You’re not afraid of it, are you? You’d think everyone would want to be better at speaking, right? It’s such a fundamental skill, no matter what business you’re in. It’s also a valuable one. In fact, gazillionaire investor Warren Buffett points to speaking as the most valuable skill any professional can develop. Communicating better, he says, can elevate your value by 50%. My neurologist is right there with him in philosophy, if not in net worth. He’s predicting that as medical technology continues to develop, the ability to communicate with their patients and with each other will be what makes some physicians stand out. And earn more. Comments like these are music to my ears—I’m the one with the LinkedIn profile that says, “Everything rests on your ability to communicate.” But not everyone is enthusiastic about standing up and speaking in front of their colleagues or clients or anyone else.

Wake Me When “Woke” is Over

Wake Me When “Woke” is Over

You’ve heard, no doubt, that Florida is “where Woke goes to die.” Governor Ron DeSantis is all wrapped up in opposition to “wokeism” He declared victory in his fight with Disney World, calling Disney “a woke corporation.” And of course, he’s championed the Stop WOKE Act, to limit teaching about racism and some other history in Florida schools. Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders touched on the topic in her response to President Biden’s State of the Union speech. He’s surrendered his presidency to a woke mob, she said, and later accused him of pursuing “woke fantasies.” And Indiana Congressman Jim Banks has created what he calls the Anti-Woke Caucus. He’s demanding “a recorded vote on an amendment to defund wokeness” on any bill that spends money on what he calls “leftist activities.” Turns out the mission is to remove “diversity, equity, and inclusion” from federal agencies.

The Downside of Difference and the Bigger Benefit

The Downside of Difference and the Bigger Benefit

The Downside of Difference and the Bigger Benefit: You know how sometimes you have a chance to walk your talk … and it feels like walking the plank? Maybe you were with me last week for a robust discussion of mass lay-offs, badly handled. It generated considerable response.
There was this from one reader: “I hope some HR folks are on your mailing list. You should pitch this to the HR publications. Excellent article!” And then there was this, from a reader who actually is in Human Resources: “You just lost a listener, who up to now valued and shared your insights, when you referred to the HR person as the Angel of Death. I am insulted by your generalization of HR as a profession.” Huh. Interesting.

Say Good-Bye and Stay Human

Say Good-Bye and Stay Human

You’ve heard about the wave of layoffs sweeping over the tech industry and swamping careers in the process. It’s about the same story at media companies, both “legacy” networks and newspapers, and the online-only entities like VOX are shedding workers in big numbers. One hallmark of the current cutbacks is the utter lack of humanity displayed. And I mean that literally. There’s no human connection in the career-killing. Employees are finding themselves locked out of websites, losing access to Slack, getting mass emails informing thousands of workers at a time that they don’t work here anymore. It’s hard to stay human.