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Ditch the Pitch—Be Real Instead
You’ve been there, haven’t you? Standing awkwardly at a networking event, maybe with a drink in your hand, striking up a conversation, and feeling a little bit like a cardboard cutout.
We know networking is necessary to grow our business or advance our career. But how do you do that without feeling fake and forgettable? So often, we go into a conversation armed with a pitch and a winning smile … and we wind up blending into the background.
Some expert along the way told us to work the room, sell ourselves, and above all, be sure to project confidence.
Here’s the issue. That can mean performing instead of connecting.
What if you went for Presence instead of a pitch?
That would mean shifting the focus from saying the exact right words to showing up in a real way. Because people don’t walk out of an event remembering those polished lines you said. They remember how it felt when they were talking with you.
Your tone of voice, your comfortable eye contact, your energy —those are the qualities that make you magnetic. Or not.
Here are some practical shifts you can make to be more memorable.
Forget about a set of lines. You’re not in an elevator, and nobody wants to hear you giving a speech. Instead of a polished pitch, lead with curiosity about the other person. Or share an insight about the group or the event. And yes, of course, be prepared to talk about your work in a natural, comfortable way.
Ground yourself. Before you even walk into the room, pause. Plant your feet, take a breath, and connect fully to your body. Then keep that connection as you pick up a name tag, find your place, or begin to mingle.
Use your voice intentionally. In a room where numerous conversations are happening at the same time, there’s a natural tendency to increase our volume, pitch, and urgency. We want to be heard, after all. But that makes it easy to wind up sounding pushy or even frantic.
From your grounded, relaxed, both-feet-flat-on-the-floor position, allow your voice to come from your core so it’s full, powerful, and easy to hear.
Pause now and then, to give more weight to your words and allow your conversational partner to say something too. Speak with ease, certain that what you have to say is worth hearing.
Spotlight the other person. Your magnetic Presence isn’t about making a splash and dominating a conversation. Instead, it’s about making the other person feel seen and heard.
I met someone at a big networking luncheon the other day where I was new to the group. I was happy to strike up a conversation with a woman who seemed interesting. And she was! I learned quite a bit about her unusual business, her background, and her connection to the group.
What do you suppose she learned about me? Not much – because she didn’t seem remotely interested. That left a definite impression. It wasn’t a positive one.
Make a memory. You could dole out a whole handful of business cards and collect just as many before you head home. But that’s not really the point of networking, is it? Consider as you begin each interaction: what do you want them to remember about how you? And about how they felt talking with you?
There’s a lot going on below the surface.
Sometimes we feel we have to prove our worth in every meeting, presentation, and even in simple conversations. It’s time to let go of that.
It’s true that in any of those situations, someone may be evaluating us, judging us, reaching conclusions about us. People are human, after all, and that judging goes both ways.
Still, true Presence comes from knowing you belong right where you are. And staying in touch with the physical sensation of being there, even before you say a word.
When you show up from that place? People lean in. They listen to you. And they remember you.
Maybe you’re tired of doing everything “right” and still not standing out.
If you’re ready to drop the performance and bring your real Presence into the room, we should talk. This is the work I do. It’s partly physical, of course. How do you ground yourself, get comfortable with eye contact, and speak with a strong voice?
And there’s another element as well. Using your Fascinate® profile, you’ll discover how people perceive you at your best … and what you can do to make sure that happens even more often. When you lean into your natural communication advantages, people see you, hear you, and remember you.
