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Getting in touch again

When was the last time you called that old friend? You know, the one you’ve kind of lost touch with but for quick notes on holiday cards, and even those are trailing off.

Maybe you were neighbors once, a couple of homes ago. Or sorority sisters back in the day. Or you sat next to each other in algebra class your sophomore year in high school.

You have marvelous memories of softball games and grass-stained knees. Or slumber parties with lots of giggling and very little slumbering. Or the adventures you shared during your summer abroad.

You were planning to be friends forever. And you meant it, you really did. And then life happened. Your paths diverged, and here you are. Out of touch.

You can change that, you know.

I just came back from a trip to Missouri to spend a few days with longtime friends. How longtime? Whit and Joan and I worked together at WRBC Radio in Jackson, MS … in the 1970s.

There’ve been a lot of moves—and a lot of jobs—since then. And we’ve stayed in pretty close touch over the years. I’ve visited them in Atlanta, Schenectady, St. Louis, and now Springfield. And of course they’ve been to Chicago too.

Every time, it’s as if it’s been no time since our last conversation. It’s easy, it’s fun, and I always look forward to doing it again.

But what if you haven’t stayed in pretty close touch?

It feels little more risky, reaching out, out of the blue. I did that, too, on this trip. My college roommate is in St. Charles, MO. What a perfect spot to spend a night on my way to Springfield! So, I got in touch with Sue and set up dinner with her and her husband.

Of course, I haven’t seen Sue since that time I was in St. Louis on business in 2001. But, what’s twenty-odd years between friends?🤷🏻‍♀️

Turns out, twenty-odd years is nuthin’. We could have been back in our room at Guild Hall, the way we talked and laughed and carried on. It was just great.

Yes, I am thinking we probably shouldn’t wait another twenty years to talk and laugh again. Also, the roomie-reunion gave me the impetus for another reach-out, and a reach-back in time.

That’s how I wound up on the way home from Missouri, stopping in Bloomington and having dinner with Gail from grade school. She and I were way out of touch until Facebook. Since we connected there, we’ve had the kind of relationship you have on social media. Not close, but kind of fun in an online sort of way.

I admit I wobbled a little bit before I texted Gail to suggest that we get together. Haven’t seen her in 50 years, and we weren’t exactly best buddies even then. What if she laughed? What if it sounded preposterous?

We had a ball. And there’s no telling who I might call next.

Your mileage may vary, of course.

Maybe your social calendar is already jam-packed. Your life is so busy, you just don’t have time for anyone new, even if they’re not exactly new. Or you don’t much like conversation, you’d rather read a book or watch TV. I imagine a lot of people feel that way. Just not that interested in getting together.

I’ve never really been one of those people. Especially not now, when I’m creating a whole new life as a single-again woman. I miss Frank. I grieve his loss. I don’t love living alone.

And I am on a mission to fill my life with meaningful connections, deeper relationships, and fun.

So, I’m being very intentional about getting in touch with old friends and potential new ones. I have to tell you, so far, it’s going well. Well enough that I’m inclined to offer a bit of advice.

If there’s anyone you’d love to see, even someone from your long-ago past, go ahead and give them a call. Or a text is even easier. Or send them a message on Facebook. Yes, there is a risk in making the first move. I’m here to tell you it’s worth the risk.

I’ll be waiting to hear how it goes when you reconnect with the person who first came to mind when you read, “When was the last time you called that old friend?”