Listen to the audio version of this post here.
Yes, guys still talk like that …
Maybe you’ve been focused on the news from Washington D.C. and the campaign trail. Maybe the war in Iraq has captured your attention. Or maybe you’ve been tuned out altogether and focused on your own life!
It’s easy to miss what goes on in the rest of the world, and I almost did.
Then a story in The Athletic caught my eye. And made me mad. It was another one of those did-this-really-happen moments.
Yes, it did really happen.
Texas Longhorns Quarterback Arch Manning is the bad guy here. Or is it his coach, Steve Sarkisian? Or maybe that reporter for Inside Texas, Evan Vieth? Seems like there’s plenty of blame to go around.
The gist of the story is this: Texas beat Ohio State by one point that Saturday night. It was a huge win—and a surprising one—for the Longhorns and they celebrated in a big way.
Coach Sarkisian blew off a post-game interview with ESPN’s Holly Rowe and he was obnoxious about it. His rudeness got a lot of reaction.
By Monday, when Arch Manning was talking with reporters, Ed Vieth asked him about clips of Rowe’s attempt to talk with Sarkisian. Manning said, “I saw an AI edit of Sark’s interview. Y’all seen that one? That’s a good one. Of him slapping Holly Rowe. It’s hilarious.”
Oh sure. A football coach backhanding a woman reporter. That’s funny. What the hell?
And then Vieth posted the video of Manning’s response to his question on X, adding, “his answer is gold.”
As I said, plenty of blame to go around.
To start with, Sarkisian should have been more gracious. Yes, he’s a big, high-paid star coach. Media attention is part of his job. And part of his immense success.
Yes, ESPN had some kind of technical snafu that slowed things down a tad, and Sarkisian didn’t feel like waiting a few minutes to brag about his team on TV. Still.
Manning should know better than to tout male violence against a woman, even AI-generated violence. It is not “hilarious” when a man hits a woman; it’s evil and typically criminal.
Vieth should be smart enough not to endorse talk about such violence in his social media posts. I’m sure he saw a chance to get some national attention and took it. But the kind of attention he got is not what he was hoping for.
And all those other guys who were listening to Manning chortle about “Sark slapping Holly Rowe”—they’re no better, with their chuckles and guffaws.
You might guess, there’s been a flurry of reaction. And retraction.
Oh, the apologies …
The next day, Manning was posting on Instagram about his “insensitive comment” that “was hurtful to a lot of people.” adding, he’s “deeply sorry for that.”
As for Holly Rowe, Manning wrote, “I have a ton of respect for her and appreciate her showing me grace in this moment. I need to do better and will be more thoughtful going forward.”
Rowe let Manning off the hook with an Insta reply thanking him for a conversation they’d had and promising to keep it private. “Apology accepted,” she added. “We move forward with respect and kindness for one another.”
Sarkisian, for his part, talked about his respect for ESPN and for Holly. He said he “could have definitely handled that situation better with a little bit more patience in the moment.”
He also assured us that the Texas football program doesn’t condone domestic violence or violence against women.
He was pretty sure if Arch could take it all back, he would. “Our goal,” Sarkisian said, “is that we can move forward with him being the guy that we all know he is and what he represents.”
And even the reporter who got mixed up in it posted his regrets. “Captioning Manning’s response with ‘gold’ trivialized an AI video depicting violence against a colleague, and that is a mistake I deeply regret.”
“As a young journalist just getting started in this industry, I deeply admire the hard work, time, and dedication Holly Rowe has put in to become one of the best reporters working today. I never meant to disrespect her work, vilify Manning, or spread hatred toward anyone, but intent isn’t the same as impact, and I own that.”
Lessons learned? Maybe …
There’s been a lot of commentary, some of it scolding the TV technical team for slowing down Sarkisian on his way to the locker room. Or trying to slow him down, anyway.
And some if it decrying the rudeness of the men involved. Candace Buckner’s piece for The Athletic was a great example of that.
Seems to me this episode is part of a larger phenomenon. For several years now, people have been talking about “bro culture.” They’re referring to some combination of hypermasculinity, exclusivity, aggression, and general obnoxiousness.
The bad-boy act shows up on campuses of course. But also in many workplaces, and certainly lately in politics. And of course, some folks are inclined to dismiss the whole conversation about it as cry-baby progressives over-reacting to guys having a good time.
Increasingly, though, people seem to be taking this aggressiveness more seriously, and I’m one of them. I think all that retrograde tough talk is toxic.
I’m curious about you. Tell me what you think with a comment below.
Appalling! Disgusting to do at all, downright stupid to do on camera!
My guess is they don’t really think it through. “Oh, this is all on video, maybe I should be careful?” That doesn’t enter into the celebratory atmosphere. Which gives us a pretty good look at who they really are, doesn’t it?
Why is it, that the women always have to be the mature person. Kinda tired of the boys will be boys excuse, and this is coming from a 63 year old boy who knows that is the wrong answer.
There does seem to be quite a long learning curve here, doesn’t there, Terry?
I SO appreciate your highlighting this. It is not only appalling and disgusting and everything else … thanks for the apologies guys. While these men PERFORM an act of contrition because they are called out, my concern is that all of that is for show. These comments and actions don’t happen because they were just not “thinking.”
This is an issue with our society and the sooner that men understand the violence that is ubiquitous AND that women are to be protected and supported (because that’s what we do for them), the better off we will all be. And this starts from the top of this nation where one man was caught on camera for “Grabbing them by the Pu$$y.” No contrition there. No retraction. No apology.
We have become desensitized to this behavior. And we as women need to speak up and say, “no, this is not okay. Period. End of statement. We may move on from this and until you actually show that you get it, I am not okay with what happened.”
You’re so right about being desensitized, Dorothy. And yes, that desensitizing has picked up speed during the Trump administration. It’s fascinating, and a little frightening, what’s going on among young Republican men. I think you’re right that all of us, whatever our political persuasion, need to be vocal about how inappropriate it is.
Let’s face it these guys are not members of MENSA!
Engaging ones brain before acting or speaking seems to be lost on too many guys. Whether they like it or not they are in the media storm / lime light. Act like it.
There is definitely a “marketing bro” culture. I’ve traditionally experienced it as the overhyped, crazy energy, over-the-top marketing campaigns. Recently, I experienced a ickier version where jokes about women were the norm within the virtual room. The behavior was explained away as “I am who I am, and women just don’t like me.” I am equal parts horrified that there are men who still think it’s even remotely acceptable to act like this — and grateful, because it made is very easy to decide that group is NOT for me.
Wow! That group was definitely not for you, Jenny! I would have guessed men in marketing were less likely to be the “bro” type, but then I seem to be a bit behind the times. In some ways, my times were better for all of us.