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How do you shine?
“I’m just not a good speaker,” my new client told me. “I’m an introvert.”
Oh dear, I thought. It’s a good thing we’re launching this work together. This one needs me.
Maybe you can relate, though. You’ve admired a colleague or a client, or a speaker you heard at a conference somewhere along the way. They are so good at it! And they make speaking look effortless. And sadly, you know you’re just not like them.
They were vibrant as they spoke. Energetic. Dynamic. They radiated confidence and charisma. They seemed to effortlessly hold the audience’s attention.
And there you sat, thinking, “If only I could be like them.”
“If I were like them, I could comfortably stand up at a team meeting, present my ideas, and get buy-in from my colleagues and the higher-ups too.”
“If I were like them, I could submit a proposal to our professional association, get up on the stage at their next conference, and wow the audience of my peers. I’d attract attention for myself and my company, and who knows where that would take us”.
“If I were like them, I could easily introduce myself and my value at a networking meeting, draw in new clients and referral sources, and expand my business.”
“Instead,” you thought, “I’m like me. I’m not a good speaker. I’m an introvert.”
There is another way to look at it.
It’s true that some of us seem to have an easy time speaking to an audience, no matter how many people are sitting there listening to us.
Yes, some of us really are vibrant and dynamic. We radiate warmth along with that confidence and charisma. And audiences respond to that! Our energy draws people in and keeps them paying attention to what we have to say.
Extroverts. You might say we shine … like the sun. With a light that’s bright, bold, and magnetic.
And. Others of us have a quieter, softer energy. We also radiate, but not in that big, bright, brash way. We might speak a bit more intensely, move more languidly, listen a little (or a lot!) more. Our energy is magnetic too. It draws people in and keeps them paying attention to what we say.
Introverts shine … like the moon. With a light that’s softer, reflective, and equally magnetic.
Here’s where we get tripped up.
We see—and hear—that other individual. The one whose natural style is so different from our own. We admire them. We see the results they get. And we decide that must be what a “good speaker” looks like. So, we try to be like them, and it falls flat.
The truth is, good speakers look and sound all kinds of different ways. A good speaker might be just like me. And, it’s a sure bet that a good speaker might be just like you.
And like my client who thinks she’s too much of an introvert to be good at public speaking.
There is another way to go about this.
We’re really at our best when we set out to shine in our own particular way and let go of trying to show up like anyone else. When we embrace what makes us different from them. Because we know that different is better than better.
If that sounds familiar, yes, my client and I will be using the Fascinate® Assessment to clarify her natural advantages so she can lean into who she is at her best. She can forget about trying to emulate someone else and be confident being herself.
I’m excited for her. And if this has you thinking about how you can shine brighter, I hope we can have a conversation.
