How would you respond to this LinkedIn message?
“Catherine, I hope you’re having a great day. My name is Dr. So-and-So, leadership and empowerment coach. It’d be great to connect to learn more about your work, and review if there’s a fit for my services within your organization or for yourself. Looking forward to connecting.”
My first thought: there’s a guy who hasn’t had enough to do over the Thanksgiving weekend. He was on LinkedIn, trolling for connections-of-connections? Really?
Second thought: I’m pretty sure there’s not a fit for his services here. He leads and empowers people to find a career they love. I found mine a long time ago, without his help. And when that one ended, I found another one! Also, I don’t actually have “an organization.”
I was all set to click “Ignore” when I thought about my exchange last week with a writer friend who habitually rejects LinkedIn connection requests that scream, “I want to sell you something.”
“They make no attempt to look at what I’ve posted or the articles I’ve written” he said. “They’ll say something generic like, ‘Hey, it looks like we know some of the same people. Let’s connect.’
And then I look at what they do, and it’s clear that if I accept, the next message I’ll get from them will be a sales pitch. So, I just cut that off at the pass and ignore them. I don’t feel great about it, but I also don’t want more “noise” on my LinkedIn feed.”
I generally do the same thing, don’t you? When I get connection requests that are obviously going to lead straight to “buy my stuff,” I ignore them.
I do feel some tension about it, though. What if I’ve misjudged the person? Would it hurt me to have one more connection? What would be wrong with having an exchange, and just saying NO when they offer me coaching or copywriting or website design?
In that online dialogue with my friend, I came up with an idea. I think I should start saying “yes” to the people who are palpably ready to pounce the moment I let them into my world.
That way, I can practice saying “no” to their sales pitch. And the practice would be good for me, I’m sure. I’ve long thought my discomfort with “being sold to” is connected to my discomfort with selling.
If I don’t cut their pitch off at the pass …
If I put myself in the position to respond to a direct offer from them …
If I sit with the agita that creates for me …
Maybe I’ll also get more comfortable with the process of making offers myself. And with hearing “No, thanks” once in a while.
So, here’s my plan. Later this week, I’ll accept Dr. What’s-his-name’s connection request. I expect we’ll have an exchange about how his services would fit for my organization or for me. It’ll be a great chance for me to practice being comfortable with that kind of conversation.
I’ll let you know how it goes and what I learn from this experiment.
You’re welcome to play along with me; chances are pretty good you have a similar overture in your inbox. Or you will soon. Are you willing to open a conversation, see where it leads, and get comfortable responding to it?
Share your experience in the comments below.
This was so timely! I just got a “friend” request on FB from someone who shared a number of other “friends” with me. As soon as I accepted the request, I got the sales pitch – to get my carpets cleaned. I was going to delete my new friend, but now I think I will wait to see the outcome of your experiment.
Oh yes, Erica. The carpet guy is famous for that. It’s a pretty safe bet you don’t need the practice as much as I do, but for me to get comfortable saying, “No, thanks” is going to be a great thing.
My policy for requests from people I don’t know is to send them a message that I like to meet and know everyone I am connected to. I ask them to choose a 15 minute slot from my calendar for get to know you call. Less than 25% of people do this; they weed themselves out. Second, when I know it is a multi-level marketing or other pitch I am not interested in, I make that clear in my message; usually proactively takes care of those who are not looking to really make a networking connection. On the other side, by offering to talk to everyone who requests, I have met some truly amazing people around the world!
I’m not surprised that most people don’t follow through, Melissa. Sounds like a good way to separate the wheat from the social media chaff.
Great thought provoking article! I think I will take on Melissa’s approach. Let me know how your experiment went.
Glad you dug it, Irma. So far, the guy has surprised me by not following up with a slimy sales message. And yes, there’s something to Melissa’s notion of having actual conversations with people. You know I’m in favor of conversations.