Listen to the audio version of this post here.
The language of leadership
Can you imagine calling a colleague “piggy?” Labeling your accountant “low IQ?” How about erupting at your administrative assistant, telling her she’s a “very stupid person?”
Of course you can’t. Full-grown adults in business don’t talk to each other that way.
And yet …
You’ve seen the quotes.
President Trump insulting reporters, especially female reporters. Cutting them off—and shutting them down—as they ask entirely reasonable questions about his decisions. And the results those decisions create for the rest of us.
I don’t need to reproduce those exchanges here. Even if you don’t follow the news much, you’ve seen the videos or read the stories about the president’s outbursts on Air Force One, on the White House lawn, and even in the Oval Office.
Are you as offended as I am?
You’ve also seen the reactions.
Activists object that he targets women, and especially Black women, in most of his press conference name-calling.
Podcasters and MAGA influencers cheer him on … and often try to do him one better.
Republican politicians pretend they’ve never heard a word of it.
Surely, you are as offended as I am.
There’s a bigger issue here.
The commentator, writer, and national security expert Ben Rhodes captures it well. Rhodes and his wife have two daughters. And he worries about the young men interacting with his girls now and into the future.
Trump has been a political and cultural force for their whole lifetime. And Rhodes points out that those guys are absorbing a version of masculinity built around humiliation, domination, and cruelty.
I’d say that’s not just a problem for the girls who will date and maybe even marry them. It’s a huge communication issue for the whole country.
Interrupting. Humiliating. Belittling women in public. Yes, admittedly, it appeals to a certain element.
And when it’s rewarded with attention, power, and airtime, it becomes a masterclass in how to “be a man” in public.
We should stop rewarding it. Because it does a disservice to all of us.
I’d offer a reminder to those who appreciate the president’s style, who might confuse contempt with charisma.
That contempt does come easily—to some. Real influence works much differently.
Anybody can insult. Anybody can sneer. Anybody can cut people off and dominate a conversation.
Those of us with real confidence can make other people feel seen, respected, and stronger in our presence.
That’s leadership. The rest is just theater.
SO TRUE Catherine!!! This is only one of the many terrible things he’s modeling for the younger generation and any other vulnerable person who’s misguided enough to think that “if the president does it, it must be OK.” It is an important one and we’re already seeing its effects in social media and society. Civilization is becoming less civilized. Thank you for speaking out against that and being a role model for women of all ages who need to speak up for themselves!
We are indeed becoming less civilized, Linda. I’m not sure that can all be laid at Trump’s feet, but he’s surely contributed to it. When he walked away from a gaggle the other day muttering that a reporter is “a bitch,” I thought …
Well, what I thought probably doesn’t need to be captured in print here.
Nobody seems able to rein in the president. I sure wish, though, that others who are following his lead could be convinced that it doesn’t serve them well.
During the Reagan administration, I spent eight years saying “I can’t believe this guy is president!”
And while I still can’t believe it, I do believe that Trumpism is the horrific result of all that Reagan-style masculinity,
ownership, and hard-hearted privilege.
Thank you for your courage in writing and recording this post.
As you know, Fred, BUSINESS communication is my field–I’m not a political expert by any means. I just feel so strongly about this constant coarsening of our national conversation. And I think the people who enable and encourage Trump are responsible for it.
He thrives on attention, and even on the outrage of people who disagree with him. I’d like to see every reporter put away their mics and cameras and pens when he starts that stuff. If they just refused to cover anything else he has to say, he might just start acting civil.
Thank you for this post!
❤️
Thank you for your comments. So very scary and so very true. Unfortunately, I received a letter from the Democratic National Committee looking for donations. Hakeem Jeffries and Trump were on the header. The letter was a rant on Republicans, basically they were yelling at me. There is no leadership there either. I have called people, but not sure anyone is listening. Open to other ideas on how to get your leadership statement to the Democratic National Committee and have them stop using these ranting letters. So frustrated. This is the time we need real leadership.
Yes, there’s a lot of overheated rhetoric from a lot of people, Patty. It would be nice if all of them would chill out.