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Leave that Tiara at Home
Strange as it may seem, some Chicago restaurants are banning crowns and sashes and other princess paraphernalia. It’s all about pre-wedding hoopla.
You’d think they have bigger fish to fry … or bigger T-bones to broil … but the upscale restaurants are getting serious about dress codes, trying to preserve (or maybe to create) a sophisticated atmosphere where it doesn’t seem incongruous to shell out hundreds of dollars for steaks and seafood and high-end cocktails.
Crain’s Chicago Business says many pricier restaurants are putting the kibosh on “athleisure wear, flip-flops and hats and asking guests to dress in a ‘sophisticated’ or ‘smart casual’ manner.”
Some go for a vague request like that. “Smart, sophisticated and elegant attire.”
Some get more specific, like the Gold Coast spot thanking its guests for not wearing “excessively revealing clothing, exposed undergarments or clothing with offensive language or graphics.”
And yes, they really are taking aim at those exuberant bridesmaids. An industry CEO told Crain’s “The interior of my restaurant, the design of it, gives off an aesthetic. You can’t have that ruined because a bachelorette party is over here with balloons and penis straws.”
(You know I was a bride a long time ago. I had no idea. Penis straws? I guess it’s self-explanatory, but I looked ‘em up anyway. Many options on Amazon …) 
Does wardrobe really make a difference?
People have been saying since the 15th century, “The clothes make the man.” That probably goes for the 20-something maid of honor too. Also, for you and me.
That’s why organizations used to have dress codes. They were out to create an atmosphere that promoted work, maybe client service, certainly respect for oneself, one’s colleagues, and the company.
Dressing up for work has pretty much gone by the wayside. Many firms have vague policies about “business casual” attire. Some have dropped “business” and just go for the “casual” part.
Many of us have a sense of what’s appropriate for going to work under those rubrics. And some people don’t seem to get it.
That’s why clients sometimes want my program on professional presence to include a conversation about wardrobe and grooming. They want to set a higher standard. And, they’re hinky about telling an employee not to come into the office, or onto the Zoom screen, looking like they just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever. Easier to have an outside expert deal with that. So I do.
I actually believe that how we dress makes an impact on the people with whom we interact. A lot of that happens at the non-conscious level. They may not seem to pay much attention to what we’re wearing; they might not remember our outfit once the meeting’s over.
And yet, if there’s something jarring, it does get noticed. Think back to Melania Trump’s “I don’t really care” trench coat for an example of that.
Consider the truism, “You cannot not communicate.” From the moment two or more individuals are in contact, meaning is being transmitted, and not just in the language they use.
Our facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures … and yes, what we’re wearing … all say something about us.
I also think how we dress makes an impact on us
It just feels different on the inside, dressing up for a night on the town, compared to the business casual look that’s become the typical work wardrobe, and certainly compared to our Saturday-morning-running-the errands outfit.
Without looking in the mirror, I know what my “look” looks like. And that has something to do with how I feel … along with how I present myself to the world.
Many days my keyboard and phone are the only ways I connect with clients and those who will become clients. Nobody’s seeing me in the flesh. I dress for work anyway and I feel more confident, more on-my-game, when I suit up, so to speak.
Maybe that sounds old-fashioned to you? I’d love to hear where you stand on dress codes for work, for fancy-pants restaurants, and for bridal parties.
I’m with you on this, Catherine. Whatever happened to decorum? It seems to me that the extreme casualness of some people’s wardrobe is contributing to the crumbling of our society. It displays a lack of respect for self and others. Have you noticed that nobody talks about personal honor anymore?
Decorum seems to be long gone, Diane. And I know many people think that’s a change for the better–no need for those old-fashioned rules and standards. Context counts, though, in my book. I’m okay with super-casual taking a walk at the local park. Same standards don’t apply at a high-end restaurant. Or at a fast-casual family restaurant, for that matter.
I agree that context matters. My husband and I have been thinking about this for a while. Decorum has gone out the window. We dined at an upscale local steak house on our anniversary where we dressed in business casual attire for an early bird dinner. We saw people walking in dressed in shorts, tee shirts and flip flops. It was, as you say, jarring to the general atmosphere of the evening.
Several of us have mentioned “decorum” here, Nancy. It does seem like an old-fashioned concept at this point, doesn’t it? I’m a believer in an inner-outer connection. When I’m spiffed up even a little bit on the outside, I feel better internally too.
Hi Catherine…..100 % agree and that goes for ill-behaved screaming children that parents are trying to train how to behave in a sit down restaurant. I say sit down at Burger King for a start and then move you way up as skills increase. Decorum and “know your audience” is something people forget.
You’re right about knowing the audience, Cindy. It helps all of us when we have some respect for the people around us.
I eke out a living as a software engineer, and I always hated in the 80s when I had to wear a tie to work. Not once did a cravate come in handy for writing or debugging code. I have never been in a customer-facing role. I welcomed the changes to dress codes that happened in the 90s. Now I work from home, and you don’t want to know how I dress for that. Still, when I leave the house, I like to wear a nice pair of jeans and either a fresh polo shirt or at least a truly nice t-shirt. I do like to feel well put together even as my aging body is falling apart. But the last time I wore a tie was when I attended a cousin’s wedding. My neckties are lonelier than the Maytag repairman. I aim to keep it that way.
There’s something about “feeling well put together,” Barrington. It’s a good feeling. Neckties are rare these days. Frank had quite a collection of them from the days when he dressed for work; one of these days, I’m going to have them made into a quilt. Meantime, I have one hanging over the handle of my closet door. It’s the tie he wore on our wedding day.