Listen to the audio version of this post here.
It’s hard to keep up with the fast-paced events happening all over the country, isn’t it? To say nothing of all the opinions we keep hearing from the experts and people with lived experience and our family and friends.
Trying to sort it all out is nearly impossible. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who’s just completely crazy?
Just when I think I know what to think, there’s another bit of information, another video of some travesty, another point of view to consider.
Here’s what I keep coming back to, over and over again: Many things are true.
I first heard that phrase in a personal development workshop, oh, 30 years ago or more. It’s been a touchstone for me ever since.
Because I haven’t found anything more true than this: “Many things are true.”
In a highly charged environment like the one we’re in now, people are choosing up sides on all kinds of issues and many of them are demanding that we do the same. Are we with them or are we against them? Because, they make it clear, those are the only choices.
It’s all so binary.
- Brave police officers put themselves on the line to protect us and our hard-earned property from looters and thugs and arsonists.
- Police are the thugs…going after decent, law-abiding citizens with way too much force. They’re spoiling for a fight. Looking for reasons to attack.
- Looters are tearing up our cities, destroying neighborhoods, putting businesses out of business. Using a just cause as an excuse for violence and thievery.
- Peaceful protesters are exercising their First Amendment rights for a righteous cause.
- Vigilantes are stirring the pot; they’re the ones starting the violence.
- The president is the bully-in-chief, wanting to wage war against American citizens.
- No, he’s looking out for us, trying to keep outside agitators from destroying our homes and businesses.
- All those people crowded together! It just proves health officials were lying when they said we need to wear masks to stay healthy. They’re not scolding the demonstrators.
- Look at all the marchers wearing masks. It proves the experts were right to recommend protection against Covid-19.
- Black Lives Matter.
- Blue Lives Matter.
- All Lives Matter.
It’s as if everyone needs a position that will fit neatly on a protest sign or a T-shirt or a face mask.
Nuance is lost. Exceptions are lost. Thoughtful analysis is lost. With those losses, what we have here is a failure to communicate.
And that’s even before somebody says, “Defund police.” Which, it turns out, doesn’t really mean we should take away all the money from all the police departments and leave citizens defenseless against crime and random emergencies. Or at least that’s not what most people mean when they say it. But then there might be those other people …
Oh, for the love of everything holy.
Can we please find better ways to articulate our observations and our experiences and our feelings?
People are using Zoom calls and social media and even some in-person meetings to explore what’s been going on all over the country. Sometimes that’s an admirable effort that can lead to understanding and even reconciliation.
Often, it’s trying to talk about complex and intense emotions with bumper-sticker language. It just doesn’t work, at least not if we want meaningful dialogue that will lead to changes worth making.
And there certainly are changes worth making right now. A lot of them.
I hope we can find our way to making those changes. We need time and patience to consider the possibilities, to create that kind of change.
I don’t think that will happen with sweeping pronouncements from—or about—politicians or police or the people in the streets. No matter which of them we’re talking about, many things are true.
I’d love to hear what’s true for you in a comment below.
The truth for me is that racism is still prevalent and very harmful to all of us. But terminology is important in obtaining allies for one’s cause. Using the right words will advance or destroy your cause. Few people want to abolish the police altogether; most would agree for greater access to mental health care and other community services. A lot of rhetoric is purposely intended to divide us rather than unite us. I am in favor of seeking common ground wherever we may find it and going from there. And if your allies aren’t perfect, cut them a little slack and try to point them in the right direction.
Accepting imperfect allies is useful in civic life and in business life too, Barbara. If we can find common ground on SOMETHING, we can move forward even if we see other issues differently.
You have summed up the conversation my husband and I have almost every day. We need to stop the duality. Life, issues, solutions are gray – not black and white, simple slogan bumper stickers. Duality is an egoistic desire for me to be right and you to be wrong. Non-duality is understanding many things are true and having a compassionate desire to come to the best resolution for all.
Thank you for saying so many important things that need to be said and starting helpful conversations.
Duality is so tempting though, Melissa. Especially when we’re passionate about what we believe or furious about the wrongs we see. It’s quite a practice to take a step back and explore the shades of gray. You’re lucky to have your husband on that path with you.
Catherine, I love this! I actually remember you saying that to me along time ago and how much it resonated, though I don’t recall the context of the conversation. Why are we humans inclined to make everything so absolutely right or wrong, good or bad, black or white? If we look more carefully, listen more compassionately and open our minds, we will always find that “many things are true,“ whether or not we want to believe them. Our complex world is better viewed in its many shades of gray … Thank you for this perfect reminder! And thank you for last weeks’ post as well. Tragic Optimism was a new concept for me but Post Traumatic Growth seems a very worthy goal at this point in time.
Yes, I’ve been saying “Many things are true” since the ’80s, Linda. And it still seems like one of the smarter things I say. It’s much easier to take a simplistic position and dig in our heels. And that doesn’t serve us–or our society–very well.
Like you, I found the notion of Post Traumatic Growth exciting. And it makes sense. People DO heal, recover, and mature after an upsetting experience. Without disputing that there can sometimes be permanent damage, I can focus attention on the possibility of that growth. Which is another example of “Many things are true,” isn’t it?