There are so many lessons from the campaign trail for speakers and marketers and networkers (which means – for all of us).
Unless you’ve been on a news fast, you heard about Donald Trump whipsawing a woman whose baby cried during his rally the other day.
My first thought: this would have been a perfect time for him to pet the elephant.
If you’ve heard me speak about speaking, you know that one of my rules is this. If there’s an elephant in the room, pet it.
Whatever goes on during your talk that’s unusual or out-of-line or even disruptive … that’s the thing people will remember, precisely because it’s out of the ordinary. And you want that memory to be a positive one.
As opposed to, say, remembering how you got derailed or got irritated or, as in this case, appeared to attack a tiny child.
Quick recap from the Trump rally in Virginia:
When a baby started to cry, the candidate reassured the mom, “I hear that baby crying. I like it. What a baby, what a beautiful baby. Don’t worry, don’t worry.”
But as Trump continued to talk and the baby kept on crying, he changed his mind:
“Actually I was only kidding,” he told the mother. “You can get the baby out of here.”
And then he told his troops, “I think she really believed me that I love having a baby crying while I’m speaking. That’s okay. People don’t understand. That’s okay,” he said.
The result: cartoons portraying Trump as a baby, op-ed pieces blasting him as a bully, and Republicans wondering why he’s going after some southern mother instead of his Democratic opponent.
What does this mean for you? Most of us aren’t likely to have a crying baby in the audience. But the more often you speak about your business, the more stuff can go wrong.
Technology fails, sometimes spectacularly. Somebody in the audience does something bizarre. A complete stranger makes a loud and unexpected entrance. There you are, in the middle of your talk, and suddenly there’s an elephant in the room.
It’s easy to get irritated when someone or something interrupts you. It’s also a mistake. Chances are the audience is mostly on your side. But you lose them if you lambaste the AV team or snap at the guy who had a sneezing fit or whine about that commotion in the hall.
The person at the front of the room is perceived as the person in power. If you criticize someone else, you risk coming off as a bully. And you move the audience to their side instead.
The impulse to ignore an interruption is also wrong. Everybody else noticed it – the speaker needs to notice it too. Not dwell on it, not wallow in it. But acknowledge it, make it part of the show, keep talking. There’s an elephant in the room; march right up to it and pet it.
When your audience is aware of something and you pretend it’s not happening, it creates a disconnect. It separates you from the people you’re talking to—and that’s the last thing you want.
You might guess, I’ve encountered an elephant or two.
Like the time I was in the middle of a talk. My audience: a group of speakers meeting at a Greektown restaurant. When a surly waiter waltzed in, pointed at the room next door, reached for my microphone and said—loudly—“You’re too loud.”
Right. That’s why they give speakers a microphone – so they can be loud.
I made an eyebrows-raised face that said, “This is kind of funny, isn’t it?” I got a laugh from the audience. I laid my microphone down on the nearest table. I stepped in closer to the listeners (we’re all in this together). And I kept talking.
The rude interruption became part of the show instead of derailing the show. And the plotline was “obnoxious waiter against our group” instead of “celebrity speaker picks on hapless server.” You see why that was the best outcome for me, right?
Funny. People actually asked me afterwards if I’d planned the whole thing in advance. Because the topic of my talk was: Petting the Elephant. How to keep rolling when stuff goes south.
Here’s what you can count on. The more often you speak, the more you’ll run into interruptions, inconveniences and intransigent listeners. (Or waiters.) Your mission: make them part of the show and keep talking. When there’s an elephant in the room – pet it.
Maybe you’ve petted an elephant or two yourself. Or maybe you saw that elephant stomp all over a speaker. Share a story …
One of my elephant stories — An attendee at a marketing talk kept interrupting with social media marketing (that was her gig). About every other word I said she would spout some social media or online statistic. So, each time I would thank her and state that that was true for online. We proceeded to discuss an in-person marketing activity and she did it again. I said, “that is great for online, in this moment, we are talking about in person.” She finally stopped and the rest of the group was grateful. I had a number of the other attendees express their admiration for my patience with her interruptions. I was glad I had remained calm.
Good work, Janice. I had one of those irrepressible types in a talk not long ago too. It can be challenging to keep your cool – and keep control of the conversation. Your story illustrates the value of doing so.
The audience is likely to perceive the interrupter as a pest; when you deal with it well it just reinforces their good opinion of you. When a speaker snaps at the person who’s looking for attention, the audience’s sympathies can switch. They’re likely to side with the participant and see the speaker as a bully or someone who’s unwilling to share the spotlight.
I love this, Catherine. And it reminded me of the time when I was at a wedding ceremony and an older man collapsed in one of the pews. It turned out that he had only fainted and was eventually fine, but none of us knew that at the time. The pastor was in the middle of his sermon; instead of stepping off the altar to help, he continued talking and never once made mention of the commotion going on RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I kept thinking that if he had hoped to recruit any of the guests to join his congregation, he had sent the wrong message. Who wants a pastor that can’t actually tend to his flock, especially when a crisis happens right under his nose?
These stories remind us that your audience is not a passive recipient of your wisdom; they’re actually partners in the presentation and have the power to help you succeed or fail.
My question to you: What should Trump have done with the baby elephant in his room instead of acting like, well, himself?
What a great story, Marianne. And what a tone-deaf minister! That’s a perfect example of ignoring an elephant in the room – and looking foolish. Or callous. Or both.
As for the Republican presidential nominee … I would have liked to hear him make light of the interruption and weave it into the show. ‘Yes, Obama’s policies make us ALL want to cry … instead let’s vote for change blahblahblah.’ ‘If only we could wail our heads off like that; instead we have to go to the polls to let the establishment know how mad we are blahblahblah.” Something like that – acknowledge what we’re all hearing, keep it light, and keep rolling.