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Sitting and Speaking
You know those high-top tables you see in hip restaurants and bars? The chairs that go with them are a problem for a person who wants to stay grounded. Especially when we need to speak while perched on one of them.
The high chairs seem to be typical for panel programs. And in a way they make sense—that extra bit of elevation makes it easier for everyone in the room to see the people speaking.
The downside, as I discovered while participating in one panel recently and facilitating another one, is having our feet floating off the floor. I found myself violating my own advice to those who need to speak while seated.
Clients raise the question often. Yes, they’d rather stand up when they talk to a group, and sometimes that just isn’t possible. Now what, they wonder?
Here’s how to position yourself in a chair so you look and sound like the authority you are.
- Put both feet flat on the floor. No crossed legs or ankles. No feet wrapped around the chair. You want to look and sound fully grounded.
- Slide forward in the chair, as much as you need to in order to have your feet on the floor and your bottom solidly on the chair.
- Sit on the front of your sit-bones. You can experiment with this, rocking your pelvis slightly forward and backward. You’ll notice that you’re on the back of your sit-bones when you slouch.
- Now make sure your back is straight. You might imagine a string pulling you forward from your navel.
- Your shoulders are back and down—no hunching or rounding forward.
- Your head and neck are straight up and down. A head tilted to the side signals listening or even submitting. For the moment, you’re not doing either one. Nervous speakers often tilt their head slightly back: they’re subtly pulling away from the audience. And it makes them look haughty (think of the phrase “looking down your nose” at someone).
- Your hands are apart, not clasped in your lap. You might put one or both on the conference table or the arms of your chair. Or rest them separately on your thighs until you begin to use them to illustrate, clarify, or amplify what you’re saying.
You might practice that seated-speaking-posture when you’re not in front of an audience, so you can get comfortable with it. Some people find it awkward at first because they’re used to slouching or slumping or sitting with their legs crossed and their sit-bones out of alignment (so their weight is more on one cheek than the other).
The seated-speaking posture I’m recommending will feel more natural as you do it; you’re really aligning your parts as they were meant to be.
Use eye contact as you would if you were standing.
Make a connection with each person in the room. Those moments of eyes meeting will establish you as confident and in command.
You’ll want to breathe fully and deeply.
Your upright posture will help you do that. Each inhalation expands your rib cage—if you’re a singer, you’ll recognize diaphragmatic breathing.
Allow that breath to support your voice. So, the energy for your voice comes from your core, not your head. There’s no pushing or forcing—just a comfortable sound, easy to listen to.
Your voice will follow your eyes. If you’re looking down at the floor or a conference table, your voice will automatically drop and have less force.
To make sure you connect with the people farthest away from you, imagine your voice as an arrow. (Make sure it’s a rubber-tipped arrow!) It comes up and out … and shoots all the way across the room to that guy in the last row.
Move as you can.
Even sitting in a chair, you can turn your upper body to face people, lean in to make a point, or shift to one side or another and back again to your centered position. You want purposeful movement, though. Resist the temptation to rock or rotate.
Use gestures freely.
Along with emphasizing your point, gestures will help you take up space, so you own the room, even when your body stays in one place. They’ll also animate you—and your audience.
Commanding a room can be more challenging when we’re seated. It is possible, though, to sit in a chair and engage your audience, deliver your message, and achieve the outcome you were looking for.
Maybe you’ve had some experience with speaking under the influence of sitting? I’m all ears. Er, eyes – you can add a comment below.
These are excellent tips! As a woman who is 5’3”/5’4” I detest having to crawl up onto a higher “bistro” chair (whether speaking or at a bar or restaurant) and figure out a way to perch. The opposite is sitting in an “easy chair” when being interviewed and sinking too low. You are right on – sit at the edge of the seat and sit up straight.
You’re right about those soft, comfy armchairs you see on stages sometimes, Paula. I get the idea of “setting the stage” for a comfortable conversation. And, they present challenges for a speaker.
Love your advice on sitting and speaking and it works perfectly for a table-sized chair.
However, on a high top chair, at my height (5’ 1/2”) there is no way to put my feet flat on the floor while having any part of my sit bones on the chair. My legs aren’t long enough!
In that event…if I have to use a high-top in front of people…I unlock from the chair and actually STAND in my power when it’s my turn to speak. And if I speak a lot…then I’d rather stand the entire time than climb back up on a high top!
If forced to use a high-top…I’m (sort of facetiously) imagining taking my own “soap box” to use as a riser…and then having a flat surface on which to rest my dangling feet.
Or…better yet, planners could be more cognizant of having their speakers look and sound the best they can in order to enhance the experience for participants.
That’s the problem with those high-tops, isn’t it, Karen? Nobody can sit on them and put their feet on the floor. I tried sort of perching on one, feet on the floor, but with my body still lightly anchored to the chair. That is clearly not the solution — it looked awful.
I’d always rather stand than sit when I’m speaking, and I encourage my clients to do likewise. In a typical meeting around a conference table, standing up to present usually works. The challenge is the conversation. You’re talking, I’m talking, and our colleagues are chiming in too. That’s when these seated-speaking suggestions are valuable.
Panel discussions can have that same conversational vibe — the good ones do. And with everyone sitting, the conversation flows. I like your soapbox idea! And I’d like it even more if conference planners would set things up so we can all sit with our feet on the floor.
I am so glad you sent this. These are really good tips. I am also forwarding to a dear friend who does virtual presentations while sitting. This is very valuable. Thank you for sharing your insights!
And I’m glad it was helpful, Marlene! Good to know you’ll be using the suggestions and sharing them.
Excellent advice, thank you. I forwarded to an HR Director friend for her personal use (she’s short) and to help others, she works with.
Thanks for passing on the word, Linda.
AWESOME!! What a great resource for any of us who are speaking. I am constantly reminded that you are an expert in speaking and I appreciate you sharing these tips so generously!
Good to know you found these suggestions useful, Dorothy. Thanks!