Listen to the audio version of this post here.

Have you had your Vitamin S today?

Maybe our mothers were wrong.

You know how they always said, “Don’t talk to strangers.” The moms—dads too, for that matter—had their reasons, to be sure.

And. Now that we’re the grown-ups, it turns out talking to strangers can be very good for us. Right up there with eating our vegetables, brushing our teeth, and going to bed on time.

Those interactions with people we don’t know (yet) are so good for us, a Dutch psychologist calls them Vitamin S.

That’s “S” – for Social Contact

You’ve heard the experts talk about the benefit of developing and maintaining close relationships, or even weaker ties to other people. The Surgeon General warned a while back that epidemic loneliness has “grave consequences for our mental health, physical health, and collective well-being.” 

Beyond those relationships, though, Paul Van Lange and fellow researchers say even interactions with strangers “contribute to happiness and psychological well-being.” We benefit from those contacts because we all need Vitamin S.

Of course, we get that boost from our family and friends; psychologists, sociologists, and influencers of all sorts tell us we’re wise to maintain those connections and cultivate new ones throughout our lives.

But what about engaging with those other people, the ones with whom we have no relationship at all?

Yes, that’s important too.

In fact, Van Lange says the conversations we have with people we don’t know may have unique value, beyond the positive impact of any social interaction.

Here’s how we might benefit from striking up a conversation with someone standing in line at the grocery store check-out, sitting next to us on the el, or waiting for their latte at Starbucks.

1. Even our closest friends and relatives might be tempted to talk about what they heard from us, especially if it makes for a juicy story.

When we have a secret to share, talking to a total stranger might be safer. They’re not part of our social network, so even if they cared enough to pass our story on, the people whose opinions matter to us wouldn’t hear it.

2. Unlike those stars in US Weekly, strangers are not just like us. They’re more likely than friends and family to be different in their background, attitudes, and opinions. That means we might pick up valuable insights from them, perspectives we wouldn’t hear from the folks in our social circle.

3. A conversation with someone we’ve never met before can yield information or advice we wouldn’t get in a talk with someone closer to us. Let’s face it; if a friend were going to introduce us to a possible client, provide a lead on a new job, or tell us where to find a good plumber, they would have done it already.

A stranger, on the other hand, is hearing about our need for the first time, and might well have a solution to offer.

You may have seen one of those “chat benches.”

A British police officer got this ball rolling, motivated by older folks so desperate for human contact they were easy marks for scammers who seemed to offer an antidote to their loneliness.

Now there are benches all over the place with the message painted right on them. “Sit here if you’re happy to chat.” I’ve yet to come across one myself. I’d sit on one in a heartbeat, though, just to see what happens next.

That not-knowing what will happen next is yet another reason to chat up a stranger. It activates neural networks we may not use much otherwise, bolstering our mental fitness. And we have an opportunity to shape what happens, whatever it is, with nothing at stake beyond this moment of connection.

Also, a chat with someone we don’t know can be just plain fun.

You’ve heard me bang the drum for conversations, and many of you agreed about their value. 

I was tickled to come across scientific support for the idea that we don’t have to know someone well—or at all!—to get and offer that value. And I’m hooked on the notion of getting my Vitamin S every day.