Listen to the audio version of this post here.
“Too much checking has ruined many a good story.”
My WLS co-anchor Jim Johnson used to joke about what can happen when you track down the details on a juicy news story. Sadly, sometimes you have to ditch the whole thing. The facts turn out not to support the story you thought you had.
That happened to me when I set out to write a counterpoint to last week’s blog about Reopening and Rage.
I’d covered service suggestions for frontline workers to handle angry, impatient customers, or better yet, keep them from getting angry in the first place. I’d offered tips for the customers too—how to keep cool when transactions don’t go as planned.
Now, I thought, it’s time to write about all the people who are delighted with the service at their local restaurant. Grateful to the cashier at their grocery story. Thrilled to find what they need at their hardware store or garden center.
Too much checking ruined my intention to spend a little time on the sunny side of the coronacrisis street.
I went back to the social networking sites where I’d found anger and complaints and accusations. And I found (guess what?) more of the same.
I posted my quest for good news.
“Would you be willing to help me out with some good news about local businesses? Last week I wrote about customer service complaints — the piece included tips for training front line workers along with suggestions for those of us who are the customers.
I’m looking for the flip side for a follow-up article. Where has someone gone the extra mile for you? Who’s extended themselves to make sure you get what you need when you need it? How has a business made up for it when things went awry?”
And I got … crickets.
Eventually, there were a couple of comments on Nextdoor and Facebook.
- Somebody got good service at a north shore coffee shop. “Friendly and helpful while maintaining social distancing safety standards.”
- A personal trainer’s helping a physician friend get some much-needed exercise, setting up sessions on Zoom.
- A Facebook friend complimented Costco.
- Another one praised her postal carrier for going above and beyond.
- There was personal attention from the company that makes those face masks with Chicago’s logo printed on them.
I wondered if my memory is faulty.
I’m sure I recall, back in late March, early April, posts all over the place praising police officers. The folks at the grocery stores. Health care workers, of course. Teachers switching over to help kids learn on-line. Bus drivers who were still getting passengers to their essential work. And delivery people of all sorts.
You remember too, don’t you?
Now it’s all …
“I went to buy groceries and the people in produce weren’t wearing masks. I complained to the manager.”
“That worker at the big box store had on a mask … and it didn’t even cover his nose.”
“Those wimps waiting for their take-out dinner with masks on … must be libs.”
“I had to stand in line to get into the store and then they didn’t have any tissue/disinfectant wipes/ice cream … I’m never shopping there again.”
“Those health care people exaggerated the whole thing.”
“Our dinner delivery was late.” “Our mail was late.” “Instacart was late.”
And don’t even get me started on the demonstrations and defiance and threats of violence.
WTH?
I get it. Here in the Chicago area, we’ve been grounded for a long time. We’re tired of being at home, we miss our friends, we need haircuts and manicures. We passed the point of cabin fever weeks ago.
Maybe we got tired of all the rah-rah “we’re in this together” talk. Could be, we’re more cynical now.
Plus, some people are deliberately stirring up dissension. Launching verbal grenades at those who approach it all differently. It suits them to keep us at odds with each other.
It’s not good for us, however, this constant grumbling and fault-finding and name-calling. And we should stop it. Now.
I’m issuing a challenge for all of us—including me.
Find something positive this week.
Maybe you’ll notice an example of great service at a store. You’ll see how hard your kid’s teacher is trying to make sure students learn what they need to, even though they’re not sitting in classrooms. You’ll catch a colleague going out of their way to help somebody. Your dentist or doctor or chiropractor will start seeing patients again, with pandemic protocols in place, and your visit will go well.
I’ll ask you to do two things. First – thank them! Acknowledge their effort and say “thank you.”
Then tell us about it. Click the link at the bottom of this article to post a comment on my blog. Or share your experience with me on LinkedIn or Facebook.
And one more thing. Do something positive yourself this week.
Thank freely. Tip generously. Spend the extra time to make a colleague or client or anyone else feel good. And tell us about that too.
None of us, including the pandemic pros and politicians, really know for sure what the next few months will bring. We can assume, though, that we’re not going to like all of it. The corona virus and the economic crunch it’s caused are difficult. For everybody.
We may see things differently when it comes to the politics. I’m asking us to stand together anyway. To communicate respectfully. Maybe even lovingly. To use this time laying the groundwork for less strife and better relationships.
What do you say? Are you in?
Post a comment below and please say yes.
Catherine, the good news and the good people are there. Week one of shelter in place I got involved with Chicago Mask Makers. Since then over 200 people on the western suburbs have stepped up to actively volunteer to source, cut and sew fabric masks for front line health care professionals. Another 2,000 are cheering us on as members of the Facebook page. This is a grass roots stop gap effort to alleviate a perilous shortage of personal protective equipment. No one is happy that we are in this situation. No one thought they would be spending hours this spring, on top of all that is being asked of them, sitting at the sewing machine. Everyone thought we would be done by now. But no one has complained. Through my efforts with CMM I have interacted with ordinary people doing amazing things for so many other causes and needs. The one thing I don’t hear is complaining. I am in awe of my community and their response. I would be happy to introduce you to some of these people.
Christine, your story is so welcome! Seems to me we stopped paying attention to people like the Chicago Mask Makers as the focus shifted to armed protestors, social media trolls and people throwing tantrums about those on the “other” side. It’s sad that we even HAVE sides in all this. Thank you for redirecting our focus to a group that’s making a difference.
I was so saddened to read this! I continue to be humbled and amazed at the lengths businesses and individuals are going to to help me stay safe. This is especially true of smaller businesses that were not set up for on-line and curbside service. They have jumped through obstacles and made our lives so much easier! One stand out is Standard Market in Westmont. They are not a large chain and began offering curbside pick up on the fly. I can’t imagine the stress and challenges it caused the staff, but they have pulled it off with amazing customer service. Sure, some things are out of stock and not everything is exactly what I would have chosen. Who cares?!? It seems to me that most are going above and beyond and I am eternally grateful.
Thanks for shining the spotlight on Standard Market, Yvonne. And for expressing your ongoing gratitude. I’m so eager to shift back to that notion that businesses are going above and beyond trying to help, and away from the belligerence that seems to be more and more common now.
A shoutout to Claire Savage, instructor at Trapeze School New York-Chicago, who has been doing an exercise and yoga session three times a week at no charge for students, donations accepted. She gives lots of alternative moves and helps you if you don’t understand something, which is sometimes tricky in Zoom. She is an amazingly sweet and empathetic teacher.
Those Zoom classes have to be tricky, Barbara. Thanks for highlighting Claire’s work.
First, I was delighted to see a comment from my wonderful neighbor and ally Christine Baumbach. She is such a pleasure to be and work with. I’m not surprised to learn she’s now busy making masks for those who need them.
And a shout-out to two board members of the nonprofit I chair—The North Avenue District. Both have senior positions with Cook County and are completely slammed right now, working evenings and weekends. But we really need their expertise to evaluate some project plans. So Eric Davis and Earl Manning are somehow managing to make time for an evening web meeting next week. I am so grateful
Love it when people discover each other here, Judith.
Thanks for acknowledging the hard work some of your board members are doing. Nonprofit boards depend on that kind of thing–organizations would be lost if they couldn’t find folks who are generous with their time and expertise.
Thank you Catherine for sharing how you are feeling. I believe our honesty and vulnerability is what will bring us together once again. My thought is that now with things starting up again, we are again experiencing fear – fear of the new normal, fear of being out and catching the virus, fear of not finding work, etc. Unfortunately fear often translates into blaming the other, i.e., complaining. It is an active choice to decide to be nice, compassionate, and grateful. Hold the faith and be a beacon of what it looks like to be grateful.
I am grateful that a small local open-air farmers market stayed open so I haven’t had to go into a cramped store. I am grateful that many of the vendors have inquired what I want and have offered home delivery if I need it. I am grateful my neighborhood has decided and stood by rules for all our safety. I am grateful my family is safe. And I am grateful for Some Good News, Catherine Johns, and other posters who are staying out of the negativity. <3
You’re right, I’m sure, about the fear, Melissa. In a way the fear has been amplified as this has dragged on. And of course there are plenty of people going out of their way to make it worse, whether they’re acting out of their own fright or a belief that free-flowing fear benefits them in some fashion. You’re also right about choice. It’s not so hard to choose compassionate and grateful — but sometimes it is a challenge to stay with that choice when things start to go the way we’d hoped. May we all rise to the challenge more often…
A shout out to:
Bloomyoga (lincoln square) which is offering discounted online access to over 30 classes. The instructors give their all and provide balance, mindfulness, and laughter as we manage through this difficult time. They tooled up on Zoom and other services at lightning speed all in an effort to support their neighbors and clients.
Tim the manager of Piggery who says “thank you for thinking of us” every time we pick up food.
The Lincoln Avenue Trader Joe team who wear their masks, clean my cart, give me hand sanitizer, and thank me for shopping. All with a smile, pleasantry and humor.
There are positive people all around this city. I just hope it continues as we move back to normal.
Trish, thanks for that. I ought to sign up for some of those yoga classes! You’re right — there are positive people all around this city. It just seemed that they were being drowned out by the You-Can’t-Mask-Me protestors. And the people griping about non-mask-wearers. And the people blasting the gripers and calling them “Karens.” And how did “Karen” get to be the universal name for snoops and busybodies anyway? Some of my best friends are REAL Karens.
Catherine, I have a lot to be grateful for, and I’m happy to add some of my positivity in the bank.
Grateful for our real estate agent, Robert Thomas, who found us a highly qualified new tenant for our condo on short notice. Grateful for our previous tenants who left the unit spic and span. Grateful for our new tenant who agreed to our rent, signed the lease and promptly paid his security deposit—sight unseen. We showed him the unit today and he was thrilled!
And grateful to my husband for agreeing to marry me 13 years today.
Wow! This is a tough time to be making real estate deals, Lesley. I’m so glad it worked out well for you.
And ❤ Happy Anniversary to you ❤
I’m IN for the positive actions for self and others this week, Catherine! I’m discouraged by all that negativity- I agree…WTH? But, human nature can disappoint us and delight us in equal measure. My positive-for-self action will be to not participate with those negative people or platforms. There are so many more positives if you are looking for them. An amazon company is sending me a whole new set of planters because one arrived damaged, so I bothered to write a review and say thanks for their excellent service. I’ll pass along an extra planter now to brighten someone else’s day. A friend is teaching free yoga classes 3 times a week for donations to Deborah’s Place women’s shelter. Another friend is taking her family on a drive for a weeklong getaway to a family vacation house this summer…so she offered THEIR vacation house in MI to us for that week so we could get away too! Kindness does still abound. Thanks as always for your insightful and thought-provoking post.
I’ve heard such interesting explanations for the turn things have taken, Kim. Exhaustion is part of it. And fear. Being stuck in one place (even those of us who love our homes need to get out once in a while). And some of it is just time — the longer this drags on, the bleaker it feels for a lot of people. I think it’s so important to at least try to communicate clearly, to cut people some slack when things don’t work out and express our gratitude when they do.
Thanks for some great examples of silver linings. You might want to check this out. A friend who read my plea for the brighter side sent it. https://www.karunavirus.org/
I have had great service from all the restaurants, stores, and delivery services that are open. We tip well and thank them graciously for taking major risks everyday. We are planning to open our SportClips hair cutting salons about June 1st. and hope our guests will also treat us well. We will do everything to serve them exceptionally and keep them safe.
Blessings to all!
That’s so good to hear, Gale. Both that you’ve had good experiences AND that you’re going to start clipping again. I know a shaggy guy who should be first in line on reopening day!
Running an online personal growth and transformation class and am amazed at the openness and heart-felt support that the people in the class are sharing with each other. It is beautiful! There are many joyous, creative, funny, beautiful people out there – who are sharing online and lifting up the spirits of those around them. We have done a lot of gratitude for the health care workers – and that is totally appropriate. But I also want to express my gratitude to every person out there who is making an effort to take care of themselves and others. The people who are staying home. The people who are wearing masks. The people who are opening gas stations and working in grocery stores and keeping my internet up and functional. I so very much appreciate you and all you are doing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And thank YOU for saying “thank you” here, Kathy. I do think free-flowing gratitude is good for all of us. My morning writing includes five things I’m grateful for each day. Some days lately it’s been a stretch to come up with all of them. And then some days I’m so appreciative of so many, I can hardly stop at five.
Catherine I started looking at things I am grateful for each morning as well. It is a very interesting exercise and most days it is fairly easy but at times it is a challenge. It has made me examine things that happen throughout the day. I think if more people would start this practice the world would be a kinder place. It is harder to be negative when you look at your day through a lens of being grateful.
It IS an interesting exercise, Kathy — and I’m with you, it makes me more aware of the positive things that happen during the day. When I actually notice the pluses during a day, I usually feel a lot better at the end of it.
I’m delighted to report that I’ve noticed many positive things. When my husband and I are sitting on the porch or out for a walk, people wave and say “Hi, how are you doing?” about 90% more than they ever did before. My instacart delivery person answered, “Of course, I’d be happy to get that for you.” when I asked her to add something to my order. It was the “of course” that struck me. The same thing happened when we had to cancel a cabin reservation because a wedding was postponed. Not only did the person say, “Of course, I’ll cancel and refund your deposit.” She also said, “We won’t be charging a cancellation fee.” Needless to say, when we can travel, I will think of them first for booking a cabin. I’m choosing to focus on the positives because it is so easy for me to go down a rabbit hole when I read negative things, about which I can do nothing. I’m focusing on what actions I can take. And, full transparency, some days I’m better at it than others.
It’s so great that you’re keeping an eye on the good stuff, Cindy. I’m getting more and more resistant to the negativity, I notice. I just don’t want to hear it or read it…all the complaining and vitriol. I hear people mock the cautious for falling victim to “fear-porn.” To me, anger-porn is a bigger issue. Too many people stirring the pot for their own benefit, and leaving people at odds with one another when they don’t have to be.