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Warning: I’m wandering out on thin ice today.
You know I think we should all be nicer to each other more of the time.
I’m on record calling for less belligerence. Less name-calling. More grace.
And, we still ought to be able to speak our minds about public officials, don’t you think?
Chicago’s mayor and the teachers’ union are legendary now for the bad blood between them. The union supported someone else for mayor; their candidate lost by a large margin, and they’ve been having conniptions ever since about nearly everything Mayor Lori Lightfoot says or does.
Some Chicagoans side with the union, some with the mayor, some have been known to switch sides depending on the specific issue at the moment.
And many of us say, “A pox on both their houses.” It’s infuriating that they can’t get along and work together to improve the schools for the sake of the students. And the taxpayers.
I find the sniping between them so annoying; I sometimes turn off the news rather than listen to those union officials blather on about their disdain for the mayor or hear Lightfoot blasting the union again.
That said, it’s not out of bounds to criticize elected officials or public employees’ unions.
A commentary in the Chicago Tribune said union president Jesse Sharkey crossed the line, insisting, “A white man calling a Black woman stupid on a public platform is never appropriate.”
The man who wrote it said the Black women he’d talked to agreed that the remark was offensive and inappropriate. And with each of those women, Marcus Betts said he could “feel the deflation of her spirit.”
He believes this kind of insult is dangerous. “When we normalize Black women being called stupid or being seen as lacking value,” Betts wrote, “they are marginalized and often denied opportunity.”
Betts insists that Sharkey must publicly apologize “to do right by all Black women and little Black girls.”
That’s where he and I part company.
I’m all for more civil discourse. I’d much prefer that we criticize positions, ideas, or official actions without personal insults. I believe we should discuss issues like grown-ups instead of indulging in childish name-calling.
I don’t believe Sharkey insulted all Black women when he questioned one specific Black woman’s intelligence, however gracelessly.
And I think this kind of generalizing muddies our communication and promotes division.
Not that Betts is alone in his assertion that a jab at one is a death blow to all.
The Chicago Aldermanic Black Caucus wrote to the Sun-Times, complaining about Sharkey’s anti-Lightfoot comment and throwing in recent criticisms of Kamala Harris and the Cook County Clerk.
“In all of these instances,” they wrote, “the common thread is that Black women are constantly challenged. They have had their intelligence, leadership, or commitments questioned, as if there is nothing they can do that is right.”
I hate to break it to them.
There’s likely no government official of any color, gender, or national origin who hasn’t had their intelligence, leadership, or commitments questioned.
You know who’s been even more vocal than the CTU president in condemning Mayor Lightfoot? The union’s vice president blasted the mayor as a “micromanaging, name calling, bad boss who can’t get along with anyone.”
Stacy Davis Gates said the mayor is “unfit to lead this city. She is on a one-woman kamikaze mission to destroy our Chicago Public Schools.” And nobody called Gates a racist.
Gates, of course, is a Black woman.
We shouldn’t have to share demographic traits with a leader to be allowed to question, challenge, or even criticize that leader.
Otherwise only wealthy, retired, White men could get away with comments about our former president. A quick look at Twitter will tell you that many people who don’t fit those criteria are freely sharing their negative views of Donald J. Trump.
There’s a certain irony here.
These men leaping to protect Black, female government officials from taking their political lumps, as if those women are delicate flowers who can’t take care of themselves…
Have they ever met Lori Lightfoot?
Our mayor is known for, and often criticized for, her own direct comments about political opponents. Here’s what she had to say about Jesse Sharkey labeling her “relentlessly stupid.”
“I mean, that sounds like the comments of a desperate man, and I gotta tell you, if I had a dollar for every time some privileged, clouted white guy called me stupid, I’d be a bazillionaire,” the mayor said.
Lightfoot didn’t even want to talk about Gates and what the mayor called a juvenile, name-calling fight. As she said, “This isn’t junior high school.”
There’s a lot to ponder here, isn’t there?
Here’s my bottom line.
In a perfect world, everybody treats each other well, even if they have fundamental disagreements.
This not being a perfect world, some of us are going to insult others of us every now and again. And yes, some do more than their fair share of the insulting. We might have judgements about those people.
Better to challenge a person’s ideas, statements, or behavior rather than dwell on personal characteristics. I’ve never been a fan of the Tweets and taunts about the former president’s hair style, skin tone, or physique; I think it’s childish.
Mocking a person’s race, gender, or ethnic origin is out of bounds. Criticizing a public official is legit, regardless of their race, gender, or ethnic origin.
Or maybe you see it differently? I’m looking forward to your comment.
Well hello, I couldn’t agree more, in fact its getting so rough in customer service I find myself gritting my teeth trying to help. You know me, I am one of the easiest people to get along with and enjoy helping people. Well… its changing. So much so that I’m thinking of changing fields! A garbage man takes less crap, maybe thats what I’ll do.. Thank you
Hard for me to believe customers would be unpleasant to you, Jacques. I DO know you’re easy to get along with. And, there’s something about the state of the world right now. It seems emotions are close to the surface and so many have lost the ability (or willingness) to keep their negativity to themselves.
I hope it’s partly pandemic-related and will ease up when the contagion is contained. But it might be hard to put this genie back in the bottle.
Love this, Catherine. As always, wise unvarnished truth from you. I can’t help thinking that the tenor of discourse over the last few years has lost all sense of dignity, civility and decorum. It’s a slippery slope toward no respect for anyone.
It IS disturbing, Jeanette. The city and the CTU are prime examples of no-civility, but they’re not alone. I hear things from congressional representatives that make me worry about our future. And don’t get me started on the people who show up screaming at school boards.
I agree with you Catherine! Let’s critize policies, ideas, recommendations etc. Let’s not critize the actual person. I am very disappointed in how the city of Chicago and Chicago Public Schools are being managed. The problem is bigger than the top Chicago leaders can solve. I am disappointed in their relationship and their policies, yet I don’t know them personally to critize the individual.
I worry about the city’s future, Patty. And I’m not at all sure what we can do to change it. For that matter, this issue of ugly talk goes way beyond Chicago. There must be an audience for it, at both ends of the political spectrum, but the people I know are mostly disgusted by all of it.
Spot on. Please submit this piece to the Chicago papers. Your calm intelligence needs to be read by the masses.
Thanks, Kelly. I’m pretty sure the papers aren’t interested in what I have to say. For starters, it’s not inflammatory enough.
Part of our issue is that the most outrageous comments and attitudes get amplified.
Hey Catherine,
I agree, with one additional thought; Why is this limited to politics, Govt. leaders, or officials? I am thinking bigger.
I care much more about what is in someone’s mind, the actions they take, if they are honest, and whether or not they are kind and generous people. Comments that attack the individuals lead to significantly more outcry on every side. This type of personal attack puts people in a defensive stance right off the bat, and usually, that has nothing to do with the actual issue at hand. I find myself increasingly frustrated with the amount of genuine, human decency that we have lost as a society, but I will do only what I can do. I vow to look at the issues, not the person debating them to the very best of my ability. It will bring me way more personal peace than the alternative. I hope you do send this article to a wider audience because I think it is important.
Thank you for standing on the thin ice.
Looking at issues instead of personal qualities is the way to go, Donna. I used the former president as an example. I admit I’ve snickered at some of the insulting things people say about him. And, although I’ve criticized some of what he did in office (and since leaving!) I haven’t indulged in any of that commentary about his appearance or manner of speaking.
Sometimes it’s hard to hold back — and we should all do more of that.
Hi Catherine, great piece. I admire you speaking out about such a highly charged topic (race and men/women relations) with such attention and care. When emotions run high it’s so easy for us to get in either personal attack and/or defensive mode and completely lose sight of the important matters and issues at hand. For the topic of Mayor versus Union, the important matter at hand is the children, in my opinion, and they ultimately are the victims of adult egos getting lost in “winning” and “being right”.
“Highly charged” is right, Karen. People are pilloried over accusations of sexism or racism, and sometimes those “ism”charges are thrown around carelessly.
I’m so with you about the school situation. The CTU and the mayor have done all of us a disservice with their animosity toward each other.